Age Is Just a Thing

One friend, upon hearing me describe a new ache or an old pain, used to reply, “You’ve never been (insert age here) before!”

At first, I found this insulting, then, later, very insulting. But knowing the friend as I did, I eventually realized that he was not being dismissive when he said this, but was instead reminding me to do something I did not have a long history of doing: To pay attention to my body. He has since passed on and will remain forever 65.

He was saying that almost everything we experience is unique to us, yet not at all unique. That sentence is either wise in its simpleness, so simple and wise that “simpleness” is too complicated a word for it, or incredibly banal. All of the above: We are all growing older. I’ve never been 46 before. So it is.
Read More

Overdose Awareness Day

Our recovery meeting coffeemaker had some news today: He’d consumed a fifth of vodka this weekend. My friend and I provided the needed ears, and we spoke the words that maybe we needed to hear more than he is ready to hear: “You can do it, if you want it.” I added my own insistence on being positive in the face of just about anything; because he showed up and in fact kept his word and made the coffee, I said, “Obviously you’re hearing something you feel like you need in the meetings. You keep showing up, and that’s great.”

“I love being here,” he replied, and then departed before the meeting began.
Read More

Forever Snug

My current crush and I are grabbing some sun today at the same local pond I wrote about last week in “Forever Snug“:

Yesterday was one of those days in which the lifeguards outnumbered the swimmers. We were at a local park that features a small lake and beach; busy late August life kept the crowds away even on a sunny Saturday afternoon, so we were one couple out of maybe ten groups. Two families, each with three water-loving toddlers, splashed about, and none of the children were yet old enough to test their limits against the flimsy, algae-covered nylon rope demarcating the “deep end” on three sides. The lifeguards chatted with the families, flirted with each other, bought each other ice cream, and burned off the calories breaking each others’ speed records chasing after the ice cream truck.
Read More